Why, you ask....do I LOVE eating? (Yes, I realize that no one has actually asked that in this blog...just go with it, k?)
Because it tastes so good! It gives me something to do! and I have a problem! Seriously folks....it's an issue. I should be the local spokesperson for OA....you know...the spokesperson for who needs to go to those meetings.
Let me see if I can make a list of all the times I like to eat: When I'm:
happy
sad (seriously...it makes me happy.....somewhere someone can psychoanalyze me to death, I'm sure)
bored
watching tv
socializing
stressed
hungry
just want something in particular (donuts)
There's more to it than that (and for a moment, I am actually going to be serious). Let me tell you a story:
Once upon a time, there was a new mother. She had tried and tried for months to get pregnant and had successfully given birth to a little boy. He was several weeks (abt. 6) early, and healthy. Even the doctors and nurses could hardly believe he was so healthy. This new mommy brought her bundle of joy home from the hospital and everything was merry....for a few days.
Several days go by and grandma and mommy are shopping for all the lovely little blue booties, rattles, bottles, and coats. All of a sudden, the mommy develops some pretty serious back pain. She can hardly even make it into the car to drive home. Later that evening, her amazing husband had made fried chicken (a favorite) and the mommy couldn't even eat it because of the severe pain shooting through her back. The daddy looks at the mommy and says, "What's wrong with you? Why are you breathing like that? [panting like a dog]. Mommy says she doesn't feel well and is going to go downstairs to take a shower. The pain is so excruciating, she decides to skip the shower and just lay down. As she lays down, the pain gets even worse....so bad, that the mommy curls up in the fetal position and braces her hand against the wall to take a quick breath. She stayed there a few minutes, begging God to let her stop needing to breathe because it hurt too bad to inhale. Somehow (God's hand, I'm SURE)...she has enough air to call for daddy. and somehow (again, God's intervention...certainly)....the daddy hears (even though he was dozing with the newborn and watching tv). The ambulance comes and after some tests and lots of drama that isn't important now....the mommy is told she has pulmonary embolisms [blood clots in her lungs]. She is very lucky because one of those clots could have killed her. However, in this case...the mommy got better and got to eventually go home to raise her son.
Well, if you haven't guessed...that "mommy" was me. Now, you're maybe wondering what that has to do with this blog entry and eating (yes, yes...I remember...overeating). Well, simplified: my overall outlook toward life! I think because I looked death in the face and survived at such a young age (25)....I really believe that "you only live once, so you might as well enjoy it". So, if you relate that to eating, weight loss, dieting, and exercise....I did exactly that. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted because it made me happy and I enjoyed it. I didn't exercise or diet because that didn't make me happy.
I have found that overcoming my mentality toward life is the biggest struggle for me. I still believe the same thing. I would probably say that that statement is my life's motto. So, how can I stay true to that belief and have integrity in what I believe and yet...in regards to my weight...I have to do the exact opposite? I'm still not sure I know...but so far, so good. I have to sort of modify my motto: You only live once, so you might as well enjoy it....as long as you're doing what you can to extend that life because if you die and leave your kids mother-less...then you are infringing on their right to enjoy life.
I maybe shouldn't admit this, because I'm not really sure (and it goes against all "experts" who say you "have to do it for yourself"): But I think if it were not for my kids....I would not be attempting to be healthier. Because without them....I wouldn't have the addendum to my motto.
Anyway...thanks for reading (I know it's long, Trev....I wasn't a history major...I never learned to write concise).
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